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Struggling with some anger towards the sport I love right now. It about took my brothers life if he wasn’t near a level 1 trauma center two months ago. Spent 42 days in the hospital and he’s still pretty messed up. Freak accident I’m sure but now it’s affecting me to the point where I’m angry at mx.
As an example Monday I was like...I’m gonna go get the 144 out of the garage and ride at a buddies house Thursday. Everything ready to go, but as I get closer to going I find I don’t want anything to do with it.
I feel like I should sell everything and leave it for a while. Was going to go to high point to spectate. But as I got closer I didn’t want anything to do with it. It’s just bizarre because I’ve never done anything else in life but ride. I don’t like to golf. I don’t like ball and stick sports. And now I got nothing but hate and animosity towards it now.
Any of you ever go through this experience and did you ever think you’d come back to riding again?
As an example Monday I was like...I’m gonna go get the 144 out of the garage and ride at a buddies house Thursday. Everything ready to go, but as I get closer to going I find I don’t want anything to do with it.
I feel like I should sell everything and leave it for a while. Was going to go to high point to spectate. But as I got closer I didn’t want anything to do with it. It’s just bizarre because I’ve never done anything else in life but ride. I don’t like to golf. I don’t like ball and stick sports. And now I got nothing but hate and animosity towards it now.
Any of you ever go through this experience and did you ever think you’d come back to riding again?
After enough head injuries I took a step back from moto and started just riding in the woods. I still have a love for the sport. But I am done doing motos at local tracks. I've been hurt too many times and need to support a family now.
My thoughts and prayers for you and your brother. I'm glad he is recovering.
Sorry to hear about your brother, doesn't make things easier that is for sure, just remember it isn't you and be there for him.
The Shop
I have questioned riding/racing a few times (when my wife was pregnant with my daughter and i knocked myself out for the 4th time, and last year when my brother had a bad crash that broke his tib/fib, thumb, and worse of all, had a major concussion with bleeding on his brain, very scary) and i'm sure i will many more times.
Here is my thoughts on this and why I still choose to ride/race:
I grew up riding/racing and was my families main fun thing to do together. It helped keep us close (and still does) and kept my brother and I doing stuff with our family instead of going out and partying with friends and what not. It helped teach us valuable life lessons like how to crash and get back up, work ethic in getting the bike, gear, trailer, food, etc gathered up to go racing and how to work towards getting better (wish I did this more when i was younger). It really helped us grow into independent, responsible adults IMO. It is a part of who we are in a way.
Another thing i think about is people that pass away or have major injuries from things like car crashes, work accidents, random shootings or just other horrible people, etc. Those people werent necassirily doing anything wrong or "risky", yet it still happened. I think about it as if its going to happen, its just my time. When my bro was in the hospital and in rehab for weeks, he kept saying how he was done with riding as he has a kid of his own to worry about and what not. All i keep thinking was hes no longer the same person and i knew that if he stuck to that plan, he wouldnt be as happy. He would have this void kind of in his life and I just dont think he could be the same person as he was before.
Sorry for if my writing is a little bit like rambling, this topic really hits close to home for me and its hard to express my thought process in writing form on this topic because there is so much to say.
Bottom line is you cant really control when its your time or your friends and families time. Stuff happens and its not anyone's fault. If it wasnt a moto accident, maybe it would of been a car accident, or work accident or who knows. If moto makes your brother happy, then he should heal up and ride again, if not then dont. Can still love moto without actually riding.
Do what makes you happy. I'd rather be happy and die young then live forever being miserable.
I went from being at the only place I’d like to be, to never wanting to see another airplane as long as I lived. It was weeks before I even looked at the photos I had taken that morning.
The moral is that over time, my love for airplanes returned. I went and earned my private certificate. I went back to Reno twice more and loved every minute.
Give yourself a breather. Keep your bike and gear. If you have to sell the bike, keep your gear. I learned that last one the hard way when I quit riding years ago, only to start again.
Ultimately, motocross (and motorcycles in general) can hurt and kill us. Sad but true. Each of us needs to make peace with that. If after a rest period, you cannot, then it might be time to re-evaluate.
Hope this helps, and good luck.
Pit Row
Risk-taking still has the power to make us feel alive, though. A risk above our ability levels makes us think ‘thank God I’m still alive’, whereas a risk that matches our ability level provides a steady flow of conscious awareness. Most people in our society aren’t willing to truly expose themselves to physical risk so they rely on controlled entertainment and experiences, such as watching YouTube or going to an amusement park.
I went through a similar thing but on the superbikes in my late 20's, i lost 2 friends on a ride out and i was with them, 20 metres up the road in fact - brutal accident that will never ever go away from my mind. I kept riding for 18 months on and off but eventually packed them up as i turned 30 because i couldn't get the crap out of my mind and i kept finding myself in positions of danger that i had ever felt or encountered before, my riding must have subconsciously changed and it affected everything, corner entry, exit, mid, overtakes, total headfuck when you are on the same corners and roads you have hit at 175mph for years to find you very nearly shit your pants at 90.
I came back properly to offroad after the above, raced mtb for 10 years and moto is fun.
Park the bikes in the garage a while is my advice - take a break and get your head in a new space for a while, what harm can it do? See where your head is when your bro is fixed, maybe you can heal together
good luck and best wishes for your bro from England
Good bar-to-bar racing? Love. Two-stroke smell? Love. A freshly tilled track? Love.
Injuries? Hate. Friends in wheelchairs? Hate. Having to ask on the status of a rider after a big crash? Hate.
I find much more joy in mountain biking. So much less anxiety, and I have just as much fun ripping the trails. Yes, I crash in mountain biking, but most of the time it's just some skin abrasions, and in the rare case, some cracked ribs like I did back in February.
It's hard to imagine my life without a dirt bike in the garage, which is probably why I'm keeping my YZ, but I doubt she'll see much action. Like newmann said, I've walked away from moto several times in my life, but I've always come back. This time it just feels different, I'm more okay with it than I've ever been in the past.
My suggestion would be to do a cooling off period & figure out what you really want to do before selling your bike. I went through something similiar in 2007 with a bad crash that left me with broken bones. I ended up in the ER & had to have a couple of surgeries. I was pretty much bed ridden for about 4 months & off work for 6 months. It took some time rehab with about a yr. to come back.
I've had broken bones, stitches, concussions etc.. through the years of riding mx, but nothing that put me out of commission for almost a year. During that time of the injury I did some soul searching & thought about walking away from the sport I've had a passion for since I was 5. I almost sold off all my mx bikes & glad I didn't looking back on it.
I heard an interview recently by Seely where he talked about not wanting to ride again after his crash, but has since changed his mind about the sport.
It's no doubt a dangerous sport / hobby & can have severe consequences when crashes happen at higher speeds. I'd say take a break before making any decisions. Hope your Brother heals up quickly.
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