BREAKING NEWS - NFL reverts shoulder pad policy change.

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2/20/2021 9:57 PM
Edited Date/Time: 2/20/2021 9:58 PM

JNN (JLaw News Network) was first to report the following:

The NFL has confirmed it has reversed the controversial "shoulder pads optional rule" it put in place last season after %50 of the leagues starting quarterbacks broke their collarbones. Per the NFL spokesman:

"Last year, we were approached Nike, who creates our uniforms, and asked if we could remove rule 9-1.b from the rule book, which states every player must wear properly fitting shoulder pads capable of absorbing a certain amount of energy. Nike wanted player jerseys more tight/form fitting so they looked "dope bro" on the field. Nike also stated that wearing large shoulder pads "over" the uniforms would simply look dumb"

"When we approached the players about this change, they were all for it. Most players believe the shoulder pads are too restrictive, especially receivers and quarterbacks who often need to extend their arms for throwing and catching. Most of the players we talked with are in their early twenties and weren't really worried about the safety aspects. I mean really, do you remember when you were in your early twenties? lol!"

The spokesmen continued:

"Our research department conducted interviews across the contact sports spectrum to see how other organizations handle shoulder pad requirements. Two of which were FIM's Supercross and the AMA's Motocross. Both of these org's have twenty-somethings launching 200lb's of metal, plastic, and rubber 100 ft in the air at about 40 mph. Most riders don't wear any shoulder pads, and the ones that do simply steal the little pads in the shoulder from their mom's dress suits. Research found that in prior to the 2000's, flimsy plastic was used with foam weather stripping to create "chest protectors" that partially covered the shoulders, but this "padding" wouldn't protect you if you tripped on your driveway, let alone crashing while blitzing woops. When we asked those in charge how things were going, they said: "Most of the top riders are hurt and half the field is being lapped. The racing is kind of a joke, but the riders that aren't maimed and can actually line up for a race look cool. Also, they look sexy as hell for the pre-supercross photoshoots we do promoting the gear." Well, that was good enough for us in the NFL. Our guys at max run about 20 MPH and are only a few feet above the ground. So even though the MX/SX guys are all laid up posting the numerous plates in their shoulders on Instagram, we suspected our guys should be fine without shoulder pads. After all, our guys are fucking ripped and much more built to take heavy hits"

The spokesman then admitted the mistakes:

"To our surprise, after our players stopped wearing shoulder pads, many of our top quarterbacks went down with broken collarbones within the first 6 weeks. The quality of games really dropped as most of the QB's remaining were guys that wouldn't start in the CFL. People got bored and turned off the NFL and watched Soccer instead. So, next year, we are again requiring shoulder pads".

The spokesman ended with:

"In hindsight, our decision to remove the shoulder pad requirement rule because of pressure from gear companies, along with the players distaste for the mobility restriction when wearing said pads, was made in haste. I hate to say it, but it was idiotic for us to think that in an already violent sport, removing padding from such an exposed area of the human body was a good idea."

We tried to contact the FIM and AMA for comment, but they couldn't understand any of our questions because they had their ears tucked in to their hats.

*Story Ends*





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2/20/2021 10:01 PM

Don't quit your day job.

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"Sorry Goose, but it's time to buzz the tower."

2/20/2021 10:03 PM

-MAVERICK- wrote:

Don't quit your day job.

That's EXACTLY what I said!

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2/20/2021 11:35 PM

Ya ain't wrong.

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2/20/2021 11:48 PM

What in the fuck did I just read?

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2/21/2021 4:18 AM

What the fuck

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2/21/2021 4:25 AM
Edited Date/Time: 2/21/2021 4:33 AM

Creative and well written, but long way to say JMart should not be hurt right now. I don’t disagree

Before anyone says it, JMart was hit in the back. I know. There are good shoulder pads that protect there too.

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2/21/2021 4:55 AM

A thin layer of plastic and foam isn't going to help much with with a wheel coming at your shoulder.

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Instagram: vanillaice782
Amateur helmet painter

2/21/2021 5:54 AM

Nice. The Onion just took its shirt off.

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2/21/2021 6:34 AM

Isn't it highly probable that martin's injury happened when he hit the ground on his shoulder?

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2/21/2021 6:41 AM

Get a life

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2/21/2021 7:16 AM

Jody, is that you? All jokes aside, the riders should be wearing more protection. The football analogy is not a good one. Contact is part of the sport there and occurs every play, as opposed to inadvertently in moto. Even football has it’s safety equipment short comings caused by performance demands. If players there made safety paramount, they would all be wearing knee protection. But the reduction of mobility and athleticism is too great in a sport where those things are the difference in making a play or not. Bottom line is sport is dangerous, do what you can to protect yourself. Know the risks, and either accept them, or move on.

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2/21/2021 7:49 AM

It takes 7 lbs. of force to break a collarbone. There is no roost guard in existence that will prevent a collarbone break. No manufacturer makes any claims that their product will prevent breaks of any kind. The only way to prevent a collarbone break is to put a cage around the shoulder so it doesn't take a direct hit. How comfortable would that be?

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The older I get, the faster I was.

2/21/2021 7:52 AM

Pete The Fisherman wrote:

What in the fuck did I just read?

Some high school creative writing assignment.

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2/21/2021 8:09 AM

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2/21/2021 9:55 AM

captmoto wrote:

It takes 7 lbs. of force to break a collarbone. There is no roost guard in existence that will prevent a collarbone break. No manufacturer makes any claims that their product will prevent breaks of any kind. The only way to prevent a collarbone break is to put a cage around the shoulder so it doesn't take a direct hit. How comfortable would that be?

You're right. The flimsy roost guards available wouldn't have helped. I think you just proved the articles point.

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2/21/2021 10:00 AM
Edited Date/Time: 2/21/2021 10:03 AM

captmoto wrote:

It takes 7 lbs. of force to break a collarbone. There is no roost guard in existence that will prevent a collarbone break. No manufacturer makes any claims that their product will prevent breaks of any kind. The only way to prevent a collarbone break is to put a cage around the shoulder so it doesn't take a direct hit. How comfortable would that be?

SlasherMcGee wrote:

You're right. The flimsy roost guards available wouldn't have helped. I think you just proved the articles point.

Photo

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2/21/2021 10:05 AM

Chris_Buehler wrote:

Get a life

This guy gets it!

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2/21/2021 10:10 AM

Justin Brayton: Chest
Austin Forkner: Collarbone
Jett Lawrence: Shoulder
Jeremey Martin: Shoulder
Chase Sexton: Shoulder
Adam Encticnap: Collarbone

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2/21/2021 11:12 AM

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I was raised just off HWY 126 in Valencia during the 80's.

2/21/2021 12:04 PM

Dress for the Crash you're not going to have rather than just the ride.
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2/21/2021 12:23 PM

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Don’t piss off the old people - the older they get the less “life in prison” is a deterrent for them!

2020.5 KTM 450 SXF FE
2006 KX250

2/21/2021 12:29 PM

And if NFL players wore knee protection there would be a lot less ACL/MCL injuries, but they don't. Probably for the same reason riders don't wear shoulder pads.

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2/21/2021 12:30 PM

captmoto wrote:

It takes 7 lbs. of force to break a collarbone. There is no roost guard in existence that will prevent a collarbone break. No manufacturer makes any claims that their product will prevent breaks of any kind. The only way to prevent a collarbone break is to put a cage around the shoulder so it doesn't take a direct hit. How comfortable would that be?

SlasherMcGee wrote:

You're right. The flimsy roost guards available wouldn't have helped. I think you just proved the articles point.

SlasherMcGee wrote: Photo

Photo

You guys laugh but that is kind of the hockey type I wear.

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