So, I rented a toilet snake...WTF was I thinking?

Tiki wrote:

Bauer wrote:

Let me preface by saying that I do not dig shit and piss. Not mine, and certainly not others. On the handful of occasions when I've...

Let me preface by saying that I do not dig shit and piss. Not mine, and certainly not others. On the handful of occasions when I've gotten sick to my stomach, even when shitfaced drunk, I have NEVER hugged a toilet. No way, I will not touch one. Gross.

So I'm putting a couple of new toilets in the condo and figured, "Hey, why not snake that line out to the street while I have this gaping hole in the ground?" Oh Hell yeah, great idea, right? Right?

Wrong. Very, very bad idea. Never, ever again do I root in shit. Not in this life-fucking-time, ever. Nuh, uh.

In fact, if anyone ever even suggests that I snake a toilet, I will kill them. I will shoot them dead where they say the words.

I rent this little nightmare on wheels at good ol' Ace hardware and hoist it into the back of my truck. The rental fucktards hand me a new pair of heavy duty bull riding gloves and tell me nothing. 75 fucking feet of goddamn evil; a twisting, bucking, shit-squirting, knuckle-bleeding nightmare sitting there in the back of my Expedition, looking clean as a whistle, meek as fuck...and they tell me nothing. Except have it back by 8:30 AM.

How the fuck was I supposed to know what the fuck this thing was capable of?

Hours later and I'm bleeding everywhere but out my ass and my roommate is out there hosing blood, sweat and shitstains off that beast. I have a bloody lip from where the cocksucker twisted, caught and bucked up into my face. I cannot stop spitting, thinking I had to have ingested fecal matter somehow.

Someone should have warned me, just as I am warning all of you. Do not try to be a Roto-Rooter man. Leave the rooting in shit for pigs and pros. Trust me on this.

Bauer wrote:

Let me preface by saying that I do not dig shit and piss. Not mine, and certainly not others. On the handful of occasions when I've...

Let me preface by saying that I do not dig shit and piss. Not mine, and certainly not others. On the handful of occasions when I've gotten sick to my stomach, even when shitfaced drunk, I have NEVER hugged a toilet. No way, I will not touch one. Gross.

So I'm putting a couple of new toilets in the condo and figured, "Hey, why not snake that line out to the street while I have this gaping hole in the ground?" Oh Hell yeah, great idea, right? Right?

Wrong. Very, very bad idea. Never, ever again do I root in shit. Not in this life-fucking-time, ever. Nuh, uh.

In fact, if anyone ever even suggests that I snake a toilet, I will kill them. I will shoot them dead where they say the words.

I rent this little nightmare on wheels at good ol' Ace hardware and hoist it into the back of my truck. The rental fucktards hand me a new pair of heavy duty bull riding gloves and tell me nothing. 75 fucking feet of goddamn evil; a twisting, bucking, shit-squirting, knuckle-bleeding nightmare sitting there in the back of my Expedition, looking clean as a whistle, meek as fuck...and they tell me nothing. Except have it back by 8:30 AM.

How the fuck was I supposed to know what the fuck this thing was capable of?

Hours later and I'm bleeding everywhere but out my ass and my roommate is out there hosing blood, sweat and shitstains off that beast. I have a bloody lip from where the cocksucker twisted, caught and bucked up into my face. I cannot stop spitting, thinking I had to have ingested fecal matter somehow.

Someone should have warned me, just as I am warning all of you. Do not try to be a Roto-Rooter man. Leave the rooting in shit for pigs and pros. Trust me on this.