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Do tell of the most BIZARRE-O, at least, oh-capitan-o'-the cockpit.
* hehe, he said "cockpit"
Id take a skunk shot to the face before I have to smell that sewage again.
The Shop
I was very first flight in a newly remodeled plane to Denver once. It had that new plane smell. All the seats had foot support recliners and touch screen tvs with games in the head rests in the seats in front. Plus it was Frontier airlines so they got that GPS tracker thing on the tv, kinda cool knowing where you are.
Recently just after New Years, trying to go Orlando to Phoenix I took a flight voucher and a $10 airport credit (I got a bloody mary) in exchange for a stop in Philly. I DID sit next to a hot chick (philly to phx) and she was actually really cool and her ex-boyfriend had 2 bikes blah blah but she knew moto. The flight was all was good until the moment we pulled up to the gate in phoenix, I felt sick and ended up having a flu bug for the next 2 weeks.
But I ended up using the flight voucher to fly to the Jacksonville SX, so it was worth it.
I must of been bad luck for him because he dropped out of moto 2 due to heat.
Once we were flying over the Rockies from Steamboat to Denver. The plane was one of those puddle jumpers. Right when the flight attendants were serving the drinks we hit an air pocket over the mountains. The flight attendants literally hit the ceiling and then rolled down the aisle. Everyones' drinks were dripping off the ceiling. Everyone was screaming. It was a memorable experience.
Cool, I was worried someone was smoking in there.
Another, flying into Baton Rouge during the regularly scheduled afternoon thunderstorm. On approach it got really rough right over the oil tanks next to the airport. We got whipped around so bad the overhead luggage compartments opened and luggage was flying around all over the place and the flight attendants were screaming.
That's nothing Breez, I sat next to a baby that smoked. Olden days.
*Seems surreal to imagine they EVER allowed smoking on flights.
USED to have ash-trays in arm-rests.
Smoking and non-smoking sections on an aluminum tube appeared silly -
even then....
There, that's better.
1st was a full Sunday flight with a family of Hindus behind me with one extra kid in their lap. I am sitting with two Aussies to my left, I am on the isle. Well after awhile the arm between me and the guy next to me becomes a range war, the guy trying to nock my arm off. I am a wide shouldered person and so was he. We were totally cramped. The family behind us is letting their little asshole run all over with no reprimands. The kid is walking across their lap and hanging on to the seat back and hitting all of us in the head. He was running up and down the isle and just being a general pain in the ass. All passengers were upset at him. Some kid that was on the island with us that was an absolute asshole also is yelling that all the hindus are terrorists and the guy next to me is trying to move my arm with his. I finally blow, I stand up, turn around and tell the hindus if the kid doesn't sit down and hits me in the head one more time, I am going to throw he and the father off the plane. All of this in a low voice and stare. I then look at the Aussie and tell him if he wants a problem, I will give it to him. He says something about I paid for half of the arm and I repeat my self. I sit down and he rides with his arms folded for the remainder of the flight. I was moving my arms up and down at first and was willing to share but he was threatened with touch. The kid didn't run around anymore also.
Second flight sitting in the top of a 747 right at the front. Cramped space, smelly since the head is there. I am sitting with a bunch of the people that were on the island with us including my son. He was behind me sitting with a gal and they go in the smell hole about three times. He comes out smiling and they both look at me laughing.
Nothing too exciting.
Pit Row
I don't even know where to start
then again, there's the Fatal Attraction scenario
1. Get to O'Hare to depart back to SFO. Weather is horrible. Flight delayed for 10 hours. I"m hungerover, no shower, wearing what I wore the night before.
2. I drink at the bar to try and kick the hangover.
3. Finally get a flight out of O'Hare to Denver. Arrive in Denver. Another delay. This time it's a 12 hour delay.
4. They finally get us out of Denver on a 747. Weather is horrible, I'm hungover as shit...it's been 23 hours since I was dropped off at O'Hare to depart. I also realize I left my wallet at the bar in Denver and have no money to pay parking or bridge toll.
5. The worst part of the trip was the 747 flight. I've flown probably more than a 1000 times...and this was the only flight that ever scared me. We went over the Rockies and were advised turbulence ahead. I had no doubt that 747 was going to do a full roll or break and half. It lasted about 10 minutes with some serious dives and shocks that felt like King Kong was pounding on the jet. I guess it scared me more because it was such a big plane.
Anyway..,just a shitty return trip I'll never forget.
**I met and banged a stewardess for Alaska Airlines. We ended up dating for a few months...I'd meet her on layover if I was in a certain city. After my stewardess fantasy was complete...I was done. She also refused to wear her uniform before we had sex. Which made all my hard work of hitting on her and meeting at her layover points...point-less in my eyes. Just once would of been great! haha
I'm still waiting for someone else to mention a stalker from Utah... There's no way I was the only one.
Post a reply to: Round 2. Yur Best Airline Stories?