Round 2. Yur Best Airline Stories?

Rupert X
Posts
10040
Joined
4/1/2008
Location
Newark, OH US
5/29/2009 2:31pm Edited Date/Time 1/27/2012 7:37am
Everybody has one.

The horror, the horny, the humor, the hell, the hot chick that ALMOST sat next to you ?

Please do tell...
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zjbell
Posts
2796
Joined
10/13/2006
Location
CA, CA US
5/29/2009 2:41pm
The best stuff goes on behind the scenes, I should write a book of all the wild shit I've seen.
Rupert X
Posts
10040
Joined
4/1/2008
Location
Newark, OH US
5/29/2009 2:54pm
zjbell wrote:
The best stuff goes on behind the scenes, I should write a book of all the wild shit I've seen.

Do tell of the most BIZARRE-O, at least, oh-capitan-o'-the cockpit.






* hehe, he said "cockpit"
Tiki
Posts
10337
Joined
8/1/2006
Location
Corona, CA US
Fantasy
1774th
5/29/2009 2:54pm
Cancun to Los Angeles. Stuffed into a sardine can of nationalists, a fabulous flight gone wrong. 40 minutes into the flight. Old man Gomez gets up to use the facilities. 15 minutes later he returns to his seat only to have polluted the entire cabin with Ode De Stinka Ass. We were trapped on that flight for a few hours after. If looks could kill, he would have been dead five times over.

Id take a skunk shot to the face before I have to smell that sewage again.
racin mason
Posts
780
Joined
4/1/2008
Location
Long Beach, WA US
5/29/2009 7:57pm
On a lay over in Phoenix we came across a young lady who missed her conection coming home from Mexico.While in Cabo her purse was stolen,she was stranded and penniless.The wife gave her $40.The next day the missus wins $12000.Almost instant karma.

The Shop

MX45
Posts
1099
Joined
11/14/2008
Location
Phoenix, AZ US
5/30/2009 4:51am Edited Date/Time 4/17/2016 12:09am
My favorite trick, show up late, get bumped up to first class cause its the only seat left.


I was very first flight in a newly remodeled plane to Denver once. It had that new plane smell. All the seats had foot support recliners and touch screen tvs with games in the head rests in the seats in front. Plus it was Frontier airlines so they got that GPS tracker thing on the tv, kinda cool knowing where you are.


Recently just after New Years, trying to go Orlando to Phoenix I took a flight voucher and a $10 airport credit (I got a bloody mary) in exchange for a stop in Philly. I DID sit next to a hot chick (philly to phx) and she was actually really cool and her ex-boyfriend had 2 bikes blah blah but she knew moto. The flight was all was good until the moment we pulled up to the gate in phoenix, I felt sick and ended up having a flu bug for the next 2 weeks.

But I ended up using the flight voucher to fly to the Jacksonville SX, so it was worth it.

txmxer
Posts
9770
Joined
8/21/2006
Location
Weatherford, TX US
5/30/2009 5:03am
I don't have any great stories. I did fly up to go to Millville one year. Used an upgrade to get a first class seat. I'm settled in when this tall lanky guy says he's in the window seat next to me. Turns out to be DV12.

I must of been bad luck for him because he dropped out of moto 2 due to heat.
westex
Posts
52
Joined
8/16/2006
Location
Big Spring, TX US
5/30/2009 5:20am
Once on a flight from Chicago to Paris. I got busy with a girl in the bathroom. I already knew her, but had never been "with" her before.

westex
Posts
52
Joined
8/16/2006
Location
Big Spring, TX US
5/30/2009 5:31am
Another one:

Once we were flying over the Rockies from Steamboat to Denver. The plane was one of those puddle jumpers. Right when the flight attendants were serving the drinks we hit an air pocket over the mountains. The flight attendants literally hit the ceiling and then rolled down the aisle. Everyones' drinks were dripping off the ceiling. Everyone was screaming. It was a memorable experience.
Rupert X
Posts
10040
Joined
4/1/2008
Location
Newark, OH US
5/30/2009 5:32am
westex wrote:
Once on a flight from Chicago to Paris. I got busy with a girl in the bathroom. I already knew her, but had never been "with"...
Once on a flight from Chicago to Paris. I got busy with a girl in the bathroom. I already knew her, but had never been "with" her before.


Cool, I was worried someone was smoking in there.
Breeeez
Posts
389
Joined
9/17/2006
Location
Huntingburg, IN US
Fantasy
1361st
5/30/2009 6:20am
Minniapples to LA for the SX. Plane was full and they split me and my son up. Got a stinking middle seat. Next to me was a mother with a baby. When I looked around, there were babies all over the place....a maternity flight. Anyways the mother next to me whips out her boob and starts feeding the little monster. The baby got sick, puked and shit all over the place....all the freakin' way to LA, about 4 hours. All the babies screamed all the way there. Flight from hell.

Another, flying into Baton Rouge during the regularly scheduled afternoon thunderstorm. On approach it got really rough right over the oil tanks next to the airport. We got whipped around so bad the overhead luggage compartments opened and luggage was flying around all over the place and the flight attendants were screaming.
Rupert X
Posts
10040
Joined
4/1/2008
Location
Newark, OH US
5/30/2009 7:09am
Breeeez wrote:
Minniapples to LA for the SX. Plane was full and they split me and my son up. Got a stinking middle seat. Next to me was...
Minniapples to LA for the SX. Plane was full and they split me and my son up. Got a stinking middle seat. Next to me was a mother with a baby. When I looked around, there were babies all over the place....a maternity flight. Anyways the mother next to me whips out her boob and starts feeding the little monster. The baby got sick, puked and shit all over the place....all the freakin' way to LA, about 4 hours. All the babies screamed all the way there. Flight from hell.

Another, flying into Baton Rouge during the regularly scheduled afternoon thunderstorm. On approach it got really rough right over the oil tanks next to the airport. We got whipped around so bad the overhead luggage compartments opened and luggage was flying around all over the place and the flight attendants were screaming.

That's nothing Breez, I sat next to a baby that smoked. Olden days.


*Seems surreal to imagine they EVER allowed smoking on flights.

USED to have ash-trays in arm-rests.

Smoking and non-smoking sections on an aluminum tube appeared silly -

even then....
crowe176
Posts
6614
Joined
9/8/2006
Location
Spring Lake, MI US
5/30/2009 8:30am Edited Date/Time 5/30/2009 4:27pm
On a trip from CHI to SLC years ago, I ran up in this older chick raw dog and bailed.

There, that's better.
WhKnuckle
Posts
7329
Joined
7/17/2007
Location
TX US
5/30/2009 9:56am
Since I fly a lot, I get upgraded most of the time. Pisses everyone off when I'm sitting in first class with grungy boots and a tee shirt while a salesman in a $1000 Brooks Brothers suit sits in a middle seat between two fat guys.
fcr
Posts
9347
Joined
12/1/2006
Location
Monkeys Eyebrow YE
5/30/2009 10:56am
Two different flights from Fiji, 13 hrs. .
1st was a full Sunday flight with a family of Hindus behind me with one extra kid in their lap. I am sitting with two Aussies to my left, I am on the isle. Well after awhile the arm between me and the guy next to me becomes a range war, the guy trying to nock my arm off. I am a wide shouldered person and so was he. We were totally cramped. The family behind us is letting their little asshole run all over with no reprimands. The kid is walking across their lap and hanging on to the seat back and hitting all of us in the head. He was running up and down the isle and just being a general pain in the ass. All passengers were upset at him. Some kid that was on the island with us that was an absolute asshole also is yelling that all the hindus are terrorists and the guy next to me is trying to move my arm with his. I finally blow, I stand up, turn around and tell the hindus if the kid doesn't sit down and hits me in the head one more time, I am going to throw he and the father off the plane. All of this in a low voice and stare. I then look at the Aussie and tell him if he wants a problem, I will give it to him. He says something about I paid for half of the arm and I repeat my self. I sit down and he rides with his arms folded for the remainder of the flight. I was moving my arms up and down at first and was willing to share but he was threatened with touch. The kid didn't run around anymore also.
Second flight sitting in the top of a 747 right at the front. Cramped space, smelly since the head is there. I am sitting with a bunch of the people that were on the island with us including my son. He was behind me sitting with a gal and they go in the smell hole about three times. He comes out smiling and they both look at me laughing.
Nothing too exciting.
DSteg222
Posts
1109
Joined
7/13/2008
Location
Claremont, CA US
5/30/2009 12:55pm
On an airplane in Tyumen Russia, a city in the Urals. We were taking a flight back to Moscow and the airplane begins to taxi. Stops and returns to the gate. Two men, VERY KGB looking, enter the airplane with two soldiers, with guns, behind them. They take three men that easily look like Russian Moffia off the plane (kinda Tony Soprano looking guys but Russian). There is lots of talk between the parties. They pull all the luggage out of the bins and search through various bags and take a couple. Not sure I didnt want to get off the plane and walk across the Urals back to Moscow after that!! Wife definately wanted off the plane. We sat there for about 45 minutes at the gate. One of the men returned to the plane and we took off. Still would love to know what that was about or if the two guys they took off the plane are even alive now.
Breeeez
Posts
389
Joined
9/17/2006
Location
Huntingburg, IN US
Fantasy
1361st
5/30/2009 1:39pm
Oh yea, nearly forgot. I was waiting between flights at the Memphis airport. There was a man and woman sitting a couple of seats in front of me. It was pretty quiet when all of a sudden this woman and maybe a 13 year old boy came busting into our waiting area and grabbed the woman waiting with the man by the hair, literally pulled her over the back of the seat and commenced just beating the hell out of her. The boy started beating on the man and was crying and screaming. Seems as if the wife and son found out about the little get away trist the man and his mistress were going on. Man, it was ugly. Security and police had to physically restrain the woman and son. The mistress high-tailed it outa there and the man just sat there bowing his head. My flight was pretty uneventful after all that.
Dean
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6089
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4/1/2008
Location
Goldsboro, NC US
5/30/2009 3:42pm
crowe176 wrote:
On a trip from CHI to SLC years ago, I ran up in this older chick raw dog and bailed.

There, that's better.
I am so disappointed in you
crowe176
Posts
6614
Joined
9/8/2006
Location
Spring Lake, MI US
5/30/2009 4:25pm
LOL, I know, I thought the same thing after I re-read it in my motodrive frame of mind.
Dean
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6089
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Location
Goldsboro, NC US
5/30/2009 4:28pm
you passed up no strings attached sex with a boozy, coked up mrs robinson type

I don't even know where to start

then again, there's the Fatal Attraction scenario
crowe176
Posts
6614
Joined
9/8/2006
Location
Spring Lake, MI US
5/30/2009 4:38pm
nut job, seriously. I wish I still had the emails she sent me.. All I'll say is I'm lucky she lives 2000 miles away.
volcati
Posts
1166
Joined
12/16/2006
Location
Dam Mam QA
5/30/2009 6:36pm
Several years back went to Chicago on business. Spent 4 days drinking and partying along with the business.

1. Get to O'Hare to depart back to SFO. Weather is horrible. Flight delayed for 10 hours. I"m hungerover, no shower, wearing what I wore the night before.

2. I drink at the bar to try and kick the hangover.

3. Finally get a flight out of O'Hare to Denver. Arrive in Denver. Another delay. This time it's a 12 hour delay.

4. They finally get us out of Denver on a 747. Weather is horrible, I'm hungover as shit...it's been 23 hours since I was dropped off at O'Hare to depart. I also realize I left my wallet at the bar in Denver and have no money to pay parking or bridge toll.

5. The worst part of the trip was the 747 flight. I've flown probably more than a 1000 times...and this was the only flight that ever scared me. We went over the Rockies and were advised turbulence ahead. I had no doubt that 747 was going to do a full roll or break and half. It lasted about 10 minutes with some serious dives and shocks that felt like King Kong was pounding on the jet. I guess it scared me more because it was such a big plane.

Anyway..,just a shitty return trip I'll never forget.

**I met and banged a stewardess for Alaska Airlines. We ended up dating for a few months...I'd meet her on layover if I was in a certain city. After my stewardess fantasy was complete...I was done. She also refused to wear her uniform before we had sex. Which made all my hard work of hitting on her and meeting at her layover points...point-less in my eyes. Just once would of been great! haha
crowe176
Posts
6614
Joined
9/8/2006
Location
Spring Lake, MI US
5/30/2009 7:14pm
el oh el @ volcati

I'm still waiting for someone else to mention a stalker from Utah... There's no way I was the only one.
zjbell
Posts
2796
Joined
10/13/2006
Location
CA, CA US
5/30/2009 8:10pm
Breeeez wrote:
Oh yea, nearly forgot. I was waiting between flights at the Memphis airport. There was a man and woman sitting a couple of seats in front...
Oh yea, nearly forgot. I was waiting between flights at the Memphis airport. There was a man and woman sitting a couple of seats in front of me. It was pretty quiet when all of a sudden this woman and maybe a 13 year old boy came busting into our waiting area and grabbed the woman waiting with the man by the hair, literally pulled her over the back of the seat and commenced just beating the hell out of her. The boy started beating on the man and was crying and screaming. Seems as if the wife and son found out about the little get away trist the man and his mistress were going on. Man, it was ugly. Security and police had to physically restrain the woman and son. The mistress high-tailed it outa there and the man just sat there bowing his head. My flight was pretty uneventful after all that.
Somewhat related. I've been asked to talk to numerous spouses on the phone about delays and explain to the person on the other line that there is actually a delay and not just someone being full of shit. I can't believe people let relationships get this fucked up.

Wolfman
Posts
2678
Joined
4/1/2008
Location
Bixby, OK US
5/30/2009 10:05pm
I have never flown a commercial flight.
09450f
Posts
2746
Joined
9/24/2008
Location
Temecula, HI US
5/31/2009 11:51pm
got jumped by 2 security guards on the plane ready to go..they said i was drunk..which i wasn't..one had my arm twisted behind my back and one put a choke hold on..shook them both off like nothing walked out of the plane and got jumped by 4 guards..held them at bay until the real cops pulled their guns..got arrested for assault,..but never went to court..i stayed mellow thru out the ordeal,but next time i'm going for the beat down

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