My first baby on the way

Spydee
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Edited Date/Time 11/21/2017 6:54am
So, my girlfriend is 20 weeks pregnant and we found out on Monday that she's a girl (woop!).

This is my first, and her second (she has a 4 year old son) so I'm really excited about our baby girl coming into this world but at the same time I'm really nervous as I'm not expecting it to be a walk in the park either. I know it's going to be really difficult with two kids, and man these pregnancy hormones are something else aren't they? Talk about a roller coaster of emotions!

I know there are a great deal of fathers in the community here, so just looking for some advice really or any experiences you may want to share about your firstborn.

Here she is in all her glory anyway, she's a right wriggler!



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newmann
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5/4/2017 5:37am
Congrats!

Advice, take lots of pictures. They grow up awfully fast.
JRT812
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5/4/2017 5:48am
Congrats! It's a trip for sure, but enjoy every minute. That is my advice.... take it all in. We are expecting our second in July and that is something I learned with the first. Between the advice people give, the books I read, the planning for all the possible scenarios, completing the nursery, changing the nursery, balancing a pregnant wife's needs with life/work needs.... my focus was in the wrong area. Looking back (not on purpose) I didn't really enjoy the experience like I am now. Take it all in and realize this is a special moment. Be prepared to roll with the punches.

Life is good and life is a blessing. I'm pumped that you're getting to experience this side of it! Oh yeah... Newmann's advice is spot on... pictures a ton of them
AHRMA361
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5/4/2017 5:55am
Congratulations! You will find that you have never experienced the kind of love that it is being a father.

My two girls have been my greatest joy in life. You will feel it as soon as she is in your arms.

It can be a bumpy ride at times, but they do grow up so fast. Your life will forever be changed for the better.
JAFO92
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5/4/2017 5:57am
newmann wrote:
Congrats!

Advice, take lots of pictures. They grow up awfully fast.
X2

I know its cliche coming from old timers, but man try to truly cherish every moment, even the tough ones. You will turn around and they are adults and halfway across the globe.

Congrats to you both.

The Shop

Spydee
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5/4/2017 6:01am
Cheers both! Some great advice there, and thanks for the wise words there JRT.

She's due on 20th September, and we can't believe we're half way through the pregnancy already. I think it's just becoming a little stressful at the moment because we haven't actually had the chance to buy anything baby related yet and have so much to sort out in the house to make way for our little addition!

With technology and camera phones everywhere these days I'll definitely be taking as many photos as possible come the day Smile
TXDirt
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5/4/2017 6:17am
Having kids will change your whole perspective on what's important in life. Enjoy the experience. Stop and smell the roses with your baby girl. One day you are going to snap your fingers and will be sending your girl off to college. It's going to happen that fast. So just enjoy every second.
MR. X
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5/4/2017 6:32am
Congrats ! My little guy is almost 16 months now . Everyone says it's hard work ,I think that's a bad choice of words , it's not hard work ,it's constant work.


JRT812
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5/4/2017 6:39am
Spydee wrote:
Cheers both! Some great advice there, and thanks for the wise words there JRT. She's due on 20th September, and we can't believe we're half way...
Cheers both! Some great advice there, and thanks for the wise words there JRT.

She's due on 20th September, and we can't believe we're half way through the pregnancy already. I think it's just becoming a little stressful at the moment because we haven't actually had the chance to buy anything baby related yet and have so much to sort out in the house to make way for our little addition!

With technology and camera phones everywhere these days I'll definitely be taking as many photos as possible come the day Smile
Understand and can relate to the feeling. My wife and I have girl stuff we would be more than happy to send your way if you would like. Don't feel obligated and remember people blessing us when we had our girl.
Spydee
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5/4/2017 8:41am
Mr X, that's an awesome photo, your boy is very cute!

Thanks again for the kind words guys, and JRT I really appreciate your generosity! Luckily for us my girlfriend's sister gave birth to a baby girl only 2 weeks ago, so we'll be covered in terms of newborn baby clothes when she grows out of them, thankfully! Just need to get the bigger things like cot, pram, car seat, etc.

I think like you said, reality really kicks in once I'm holding my girl in my arms, and as stressful as it will be leading up to that day I cannot wait to finally meet her.
Titan1
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5/4/2017 10:10am
I've got 4 kids (girls 10, and 9...and boys 6 and 3)...honestly, don't allow yourself to not enjoy "the ride".

And by "the ride"...I mean the exhaustion, the worry, the frustration, the fear...but also the pure joy, bliss, happiness, pride, and satisfaction that comes from raising kids.

It's literally a roller coaster "ride"...one second that little critter will have you frustrated beyond belief...and then literally the next second you will be laughing and beaming with pride...enjoy that. It's a blast. So when you feel tired and frustrated...take a step back...because in a few moments you'll be feeling pure bliss and joy. Don't let the "bad" times wear you down...they are only temporary.

I will say, after two girls in a row-then two boys-there is NOTHING that compares to holding your own infant daughter (holding an infant boy is close...I love my boys more than words, don't get me wrong...but holding an infant daughter is just different). I could have easily had all girls...and been totally happy. My boys are so rad though...completely different than my girls...but where my girls melt me every single day (and they do)...my boys make me laugh every single day.

Two pieces of advice I received when I was expecting my first daughter...they've served me well, so I'll pass them along to you (then shut up about it):

1) There is no success you could possibly achieve in this world, that could ever compensate for your failure to raise that little girl the right way. Possibly besides your relationship with her mom, there is nothing more important than that.

2) Treat her mom the way you'd want her boyfriend/husband to treat her. The example you set-by how you treat her mother-will be the model she looks for when she settles down. You want her to find a man that respects her? Respect her mom. You want her to find a man that honors her? Honor her mom. You want her to be with a man that speaks kindly to her? Speak kindly to her mom. etc. etc.

Congratulations!
Spydee
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5/4/2017 10:18am
Thanks Titan, reading your post put a smile on my face and I totally agree with you on the advice you've shared.

Gotta be hard coming to that point in their lives when they take an interest in boys though, I'll try not to think about that bridge until I get to it well into the future though! Grinning
ledger
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5/4/2017 12:51pm
Congrats to you both, I'm not trying to sound mushy, but you're about to get a huge dose of true love. My advice is to just live in the moment and start a savings account, lol. My son's are 23 and 20 y/o, and seems like it was just a few weeks ago that we were playing with Hot Wheels. Be the best role model you can be and tell/show them you love them every day. Once again, congrats.
MR. X
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5/4/2017 1:03pm
I'll give you a small heads up ,the first week of baby shit is so far the worst , imagine someone putting a bead of black RTV between their butt cheeks ,now its your job to remove all of it with a baby wipe !
Titan1
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5/4/2017 1:23pm
MR. X wrote:
I'll give you a small heads up ,the first week of baby shit is so far the worst , imagine someone putting a bead of black...
I'll give you a small heads up ,the first week of baby shit is so far the worst , imagine someone putting a bead of black RTV between their butt cheeks ,now its your job to remove all of it with a baby wipe !
Oh man...the black tar! lol

With the first I remember being partially grossed out by it...but at the same time amazed-and RELIEVED-that their bodies actually work the way they are supposed to (they call it the "miracle of life" for a reason!)...if stuff was going in the top, and some other stuff coming out the bottom, then that's a good sign everything in between is working right.
sumdood
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5/4/2017 2:04pm Edited Date/Time 5/4/2017 2:26pm
Awesome congrats. All great advice so far. Here's a tip that could make your life easier. When the baby is sleeping, make all kinds of noise, turn up the radio, the tv, talk real loud, slam doors, whatever. Go on about your business with zero concern about making noise. Start your bike in the garage, have some friends over, you get the idea. The baby will get used to sleeping with noise in the background and you won't have to tip toe around when she finally goes to sleep. Our kids doctor told us, "I've never heard of one dying from crying" let em wail away, it's good for their lungs and they'll learn early that crying doesn't get you attention. Let her cry herself to sleep, it adds character lol.


Titan1
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5/4/2017 2:27pm
sumdood reminded me of a couple of things...

When they get a few months old...let them cry themselves to sleep...you'll feel like the most awful person in the entire world (close all the doors, go on the other side of the house so you can't hear...whatever it takes)...but as soon as a child learns to "self sooth", bed time becomes a breeze! So make sure she has a full tummy, a clean diaper, and then let her cry herself to sleep...by the 3rd night, she'll have it down...and bed time will breeze! A baby that is used to being rocked to sleep (as tender and precious as those moments are) is one that will ruin your evenings when they get a little older.

Also...there is a cycle that baby's need to be on...Feed, Wake, Sleep. At first they sleep all the time...but you need to gradually begin directing them to the feed/wake/sleep cycle. When they wake up, feed them...then keep them awake...then put them to bed. At first newborns think the day time is when they need to sleep...then they are up all night. So you'll gradually want to begin-after feeding them-to keep them awake for longer and longer periods during the day...then put them to sleep. At night...they wake up, you feed them, and put them right back to bed (so they start sleeping more at night, than they do during the day).
MR. X
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5/4/2017 2:38pm
We used the vacuum cleaner to put our son to sleep for probably the first 10 months. It worked like a light switch.
ledger
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5/4/2017 3:04pm
Put the kiddo's to bed on a regular schedule so mom and dad can have time to do mom and dad stuff...:Whistling
Falcon
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5/4/2017 4:26pm
Congratulations, Grant. I hope this doesn't put too much a dent in your plans to visit the US!

My little girl is 11 now and she looks like she's 16. She had her first little hopeful suitor ask her on a date yesterday (shot him down in flames, too... that's my girl!!!)

The best thing I can suggest is to pick something, anything, that she will relate to you and only you. It can be a nickname you give her, a special tune you hum when putting her to bed, whatever. You'll be surprised how much a kid will remember.

It's going to blow your mind how much you love that kid. Nothing else compares.
ns503
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5/4/2017 5:36pm
Darn right it goes fast. Seems not that long ago that our first borne peed on me when she was 5 seconds old (still lots of laughs over that after all these years), this Sunday she graduates from University.Holy time warp Batman, where did the years go...
G-man
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5/4/2017 6:20pm
Congrats to you both
MJC
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5/5/2017 5:00am Edited Date/Time 5/5/2017 5:01am
Congrats mate. We've just had our 2nd, another boy = another dirt bike
There's nothing better in life than kids!
Spydee
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5/5/2017 7:34am
Thanks everyone! Some great solid advice by you all as well, I'll definitely be trying the suggestions which will hopefully make life a little easier for us! How about jealous siblings, has anyone had the misfortune to experience that?

My girlfriends boy is a proper mummys boy, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if jealousy kicks in as soon as baby arrives as he's so used to getting all the attention on himself!

Thanks again for the kind words and advice, means a lot Smile
JPT
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5/5/2017 7:58am
Remember, real men change diapers. Kids learn from the start that you're someone they can count on when they need it.
But keep your fingernails short, newborn poop is tough to get out from under nails.

Best of luck, you're going to love it.
sumdood
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5/5/2017 8:11am
JPT wrote:
Remember, real men change diapers. Kids learn from the start that you're someone they can count on when they need it. But keep your fingernails short...
Remember, real men change diapers. Kids learn from the start that you're someone they can count on when they need it.
But keep your fingernails short, newborn poop is tough to get out from under nails.

Best of luck, you're going to love it.
My father in law gave me a helpful hint, when you eventually get pressure to change a diaper, make sure Mom's not looking give the baby a good pinch and make her cry, you'll be off the hook from changing diapers for good. LOL

True story Laughing
TXDirt
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5/5/2017 8:12am
Titan1 wrote:
I've got 4 kids (girls 10, and 9...and boys 6 and 3)...honestly, don't allow yourself to not enjoy "the ride". And by "the ride"...I mean the...
I've got 4 kids (girls 10, and 9...and boys 6 and 3)...honestly, don't allow yourself to not enjoy "the ride".

And by "the ride"...I mean the exhaustion, the worry, the frustration, the fear...but also the pure joy, bliss, happiness, pride, and satisfaction that comes from raising kids.

It's literally a roller coaster "ride"...one second that little critter will have you frustrated beyond belief...and then literally the next second you will be laughing and beaming with pride...enjoy that. It's a blast. So when you feel tired and frustrated...take a step back...because in a few moments you'll be feeling pure bliss and joy. Don't let the "bad" times wear you down...they are only temporary.

I will say, after two girls in a row-then two boys-there is NOTHING that compares to holding your own infant daughter (holding an infant boy is close...I love my boys more than words, don't get me wrong...but holding an infant daughter is just different). I could have easily had all girls...and been totally happy. My boys are so rad though...completely different than my girls...but where my girls melt me every single day (and they do)...my boys make me laugh every single day.

Two pieces of advice I received when I was expecting my first daughter...they've served me well, so I'll pass them along to you (then shut up about it):

1) There is no success you could possibly achieve in this world, that could ever compensate for your failure to raise that little girl the right way. Possibly besides your relationship with her mom, there is nothing more important than that.

2) Treat her mom the way you'd want her boyfriend/husband to treat her. The example you set-by how you treat her mother-will be the model she looks for when she settles down. You want her to find a man that respects her? Respect her mom. You want her to find a man that honors her? Honor her mom. You want her to be with a man that speaks kindly to her? Speak kindly to her mom. etc. etc.

Congratulations!
Great post! Enjoyed reading. Everything you said was spot on!

I'm the opposite of you. Two boys first then had two girls. My kids are age 7,6,3, and 8 months.
JPT
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5/5/2017 8:31am
JPT wrote:
Remember, real men change diapers. Kids learn from the start that you're someone they can count on when they need it. But keep your fingernails short...
Remember, real men change diapers. Kids learn from the start that you're someone they can count on when they need it.
But keep your fingernails short, newborn poop is tough to get out from under nails.

Best of luck, you're going to love it.
sumdood wrote:
My father in law gave me a helpful hint, when you eventually get pressure to change a diaper, make sure Mom's not looking give the baby...
My father in law gave me a helpful hint, when you eventually get pressure to change a diaper, make sure Mom's not looking give the baby a good pinch and make her cry, you'll be off the hook from changing diapers for good. LOL

True story Laughing
My son had been home about 3 days when my wife had an emergency that put her back in the hospital for a week. Me and the kid bonded over poopy diapers and middle of the night feedings. That will be 42 years ago this Summer and was the start of a solid relationship lasting to this day. Didn't hesitate when my grandson needed changing either although it did seem stinkier than I remembered.

I do hate footed sleepers to this day.
MR. X
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5/5/2017 8:46am
How about the techniques for keeping their hands AND feet out of the poop while changing them ,that one takes practice.
Hman144
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5/5/2017 8:55am
Ledger mentioned mom and dad stuff. Our experience has been that a second pregnancy seems to happen a lot easier than the first. So, y'know, be careful.

Two babies under 1 year old is tougher than just one of them. Believe me.

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