Any good jokes out there?

peaceful musslum

A man walks into a doctor's office with a frog on his head.
The doctor says, "oh my...what happened?"
The frog replies, "I have no idea, it started out as a bump on my ass."

The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza joint.
Guy behind the counter says "What can I do for you?"
DL says "Make me one with everything."

What’s the difference between the Prophet Muhammad and a blood-spewing vagina?
One causes a geopolitically marginalized demographic group to erupt in periodic spasms of irrational, violently emotional outbursts of rage in response to real or imagined slights, and the other one wears a turban and hates the Jews.

Presidential Candidate Chris Christie talking about No Self Control...

What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen...

What do you call a Japanese woman with one leg? Irene...

Ha!!

I got a million of 'em

What do you call a guy that falls out of his speed boat? Skip...

What do you call a guy that lives in a hole? Phil...

Guy passed out on your porch? Matt...

Guy that test catapults? Chuck...

Guy inside your mailbox? Bill...

Two guys next to your windows? Kurt and Rod

What do call a deer with no eye's....?
...No I deer.

What do call a deer with no eye's and no legs....?
....still no I deer.

What was wrong with the constipated jitterbug?
He couldn't jit.