It's that time, Loretta Lynn's is coming, time to get ready

OK, somewhat of an annual tradition is the "Getting ready for LL's" thread.

I try to dig out of my brain all of the FAQ's and tips that I can find through the fog of minor brain damage, fat and old age, in order to help first timers heading towards LL's and remind some of the regulars of a few things.

So, here goes....by the way, feel free to add any tips you have or I forget

My big number one is the physical preparation and acclimation of your body for what can sometimes be punishing heat.

Start pounding water NOW, start drinking lots and lots of water. It takes time for your body to absorb and store water in it's muscle and tissue, so you need to start storing water internally NOW. Drink a few quarts a day. Cut back on caffeine, as it dehydrates you. Keep drinking water, LOTS OF WATER, up to and once you get to LL's. Bottom line is, if you get thirsty, it's too late and you're screwed. NEVER ALLOW YOUR BODY TO GET TO THE POINT OF BEING THIRSTY. It will take too long to recover and get your body to absorb the fluids. You cannot go from dehydrated to hydrated in a matter of hours.

Acclimate your body to the heat. Go sit in a sauna or better yet, move a stationary bicycle into a sauna to work out. Drive in your car with the A/C off or even with the heater on. Stop being a pussy and hiding in the A/C all the time. Get used to the heat. Get your body used to the heat.

When training, you're probably only riding 20-25 minutes, and that's wrong. You need to ride more, ride longer and ride harder. Training and practicing doesn't make up for the pace you'll be going at LL's, so you need to train twice as long to make up for the difference in pace.

When at the Ranch:

You will need some form of pit vehicle, the place is huge. Golf cart rentals are available, you need to reserve them. I believe that can be done through the MX Sports website. Pit bikes are allowed, with a helmet. However, all vehicles other than say bicycles require a licensed driver 16 and older, AND THEY DO ENFORCE IT (sometimes). You'll need lights on your vehicle if you're driving it at night. (flashlights work)

Walk the track every day. They may not change the layout daily, the track still changes itself. Keep in mind, this track is not raced year round, so the soil shifts and changes on it's own as it adapts to the punishment the racing puts on it. You should also look at it closely from the sidelines throughout the day to see how it's changing.

Watch your head on the overhead coverings in the start gate and mechanic's area. Teggers has knocked himself silly a few times right before a moto in the gate.

Registration is on sunday. One thing I have never understood is why people wait in line for registration. You're number is locked in, your spot is guaranteed and MX Sports has enough bibs and bags for everyone, why sweat and wait in the hot sun to get the same thing you're going to get after the line dies down? I don't get it. Up to you, but keep in mind, whether you wait in line or after the line dies down, you're going to get the same thing.

AND DON'T BLOCK UP THE ROAD WITH YOUR CARTS, the road is not a parking lot during registration.

If you luck out and get an electrical hook up camping spot, good for you. If you didn't, which will be most of you, it's pretty much first come first served. Arrive early if you want a good spot or a favored spot. Think about whether you're parked on high ground or not, as it usually rains at least one day, and do you want to be parked and camping in the run off areas?

There are hotels near the track, but they charge too much for what they are and there is a serious lack of food. Speaking of which, trust the voice of experience, DO NOT EAT AT LORETTA'S KITCHEN near the hotels and I-40. Log Cabin Restaurant is the best in that area. There are a few restaurants in the town of Waverly itself.

I stay in Dickson, about 30 mins east of the track exit, it's about 40 min drive total. The hotel rooms are less, there's a lot more access to food, like Cracker Barrel, O'Charley's, a country buffet, and McD's and an Applebee's and more as you head in towards town (north from exit). The Mexican place across from the Wal-Mart is really good.

By the way, there is a Wal-Mart near the track in Waverly. Waverly is to the North of the track. As you exit the Ranch, turn left and you'll drive right into it. It's a few miles. It's a storybook small town. So small, the theatre is a single screen theatre.

At the ranch, there is a small convenience store up on Stagecoach Hill (hill to your left as you enter the Ranch) and one across the street from the entrance. You can get ice and stuff like that at these locations.

There are several bath houses with showers throughout the ranch. DO NOT WASH YOUR GEAR IN THE SHOWERS. Expect the water to be a little cold.

Store your fuel inside to avoid tampering (it does happen). Store your fuel out of the sun and keep it as cool as possible at all times. It is not even a bad idea to ice your fuel for a couple hours before your moto and put in the bike at the last minute, and keep your tank covered. Cooler fuel is horsepower. It is also my opinion that it's silly to ride your bike down to the start area. Why are you going to putt down to the starting area, putting heat into the engine and then just letting heat soak set in, costing you horsepower. Get a tow to the start area if possible.

Speaking of heating up the bike and wasting power, when you take your sighting lap, do so at a reasonable pace. DO NOT STOP AND LOOK AROUND. When you do this, no air is circulating across the radiators, so you're letting the engine build up heat. Keep moving. You must keep air flowing across the radiator. When you get back to the gate, either shut down the engine until just about everyone has returned or have your mechanic fan your radiators manually or a nice small strong battery powered fan would be awesome. Heat robs power, and a holeshot is key. You want maximum HP when that gate drops, and a hot or percolating engine cooling system is not going to giving you maximum HP.

There is entertainment each evening, so relax and enjoy.

Cell phones are pretty useless. Only place they seem to work is up near Stagecoach Hill and/or by where the golf cart rental is. AT&T seems to work best of all the providers.

Before your moto, while waiting in the staging area, have a cool wet towel, like hand towel size, around your neck to keep you cool. Matter of fact, have a separate small cooler set aside solely to keep small towels on ice, for both before and after motos. You need to keep cool before, and cool down after. An iced towel on your head after the moto will cool you quickly. Have your mechanic keep a towel in a gallon sized ziploc for after the moto if you think you're a top 10 guy, as they'll hold you after finishing for a few minutes (or more) and you want to cool off asap.

That's all I can remember for the moment, I know I will add to it, as will others.

One real important thing I want to close with, remember, this is for fun. Don't put too much pressure on yourself or your kid. It is a racing vacation. Strike a balance between yourself and your rider of having fun and being there to do a job. There is no reason to keep your rider stressed 24/7, there is no benefit in it. Let your rider enjoy themselves, but then get them into game face and start warming up their bodies a few hours before their race, or whatever works for you.

Oh, and the annual Engine Ice KFC Chickenfest, that you've heard so much about, will be on Friday again this year and will be during the scheduled lunch break in the race program (about noon). Everyone is welcome to join us, have some eats, meet some new friends and a few of the morons from this moronic place, including myself, the King Moron, Flarider