Going to be a father....

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Firefit_112

Vital MX member Firefit_112
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7/25/2017 6:50 AM
Edited Date/Time: 7/25/2017 6:57 AM

So I got the news recently that Im going to be a father. The overflow of emotions is pretty crazy, but Im more excited than anything right now.

My girlfriend has ridden since shes 4 and comes to the track with me regularly. She adamant about me riding next year with a newborn seeing as Im mostly done with racing and just ride for fun at the track a few times a week. Im a little skeptical about it however as I want to be there for her, the child and not be hobbling around if I get hurt or something. We both have stable careers with a sick bank (Shes a cop. Im a Firefighter), our own homes and financial stability.

So my question is this. How did life change for those of you who are fathers with a newborn both on and off the bike? Did you pack it in for a few years or ride still? Riding is a stress relief for me which I think is important. But my only concern when the time comes is being an awesome father and spouse. Diapers > C12. Thanks in advance

Tbteam

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7/25/2017 6:54 AM

I'm a father of three girls, 11, 17 and 19. I actually got back into riding when they were all under 10.

Being a father is more important than any motorcycle, sport, activity or hobby, but spending time together doing these things can really help a family stay close.

Whether you ride or not is immaterial. Love your kid.

KennyT

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7/25/2017 6:56 AM
Edited Date/Time: 7/25/2017 7:00 AM

Congratulations! Life will be different for you but unbelievably better.

I was heavily into racing when my first one came along at the age of 18. Riding daily and racing at least once a week. After about a year after having a baby and dealing with what I felt was fearless teens who did not have children back n the pits I felt I had enough. After just missing a nasty pile up n the first turn, when I got back to the pits I told my wife I'm done. Continued to play ride on occasion and then started back up In vintage racing after my 3 kids were grown. For myself I felt it was the right move as my family depended on me to make a living. Carpenter, so any injuries meant no $ for as long as I took to heal

phatfi20

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7/25/2017 7:03 AM
Edited Date/Time: 7/25/2017 7:04 AM

Congrats! I was in the same position 18 months ago with my first.

I actually probably rode more after I had my son but made sure everything and everyone was taken care of first.

Sounds like you have a very understanding girl and she is already into moto.

The girl and kids always come first, but everybody needs an outlet.

Make sure the wife takes her mental health time too. When they get stressed, they have a tendency to bottle it up, leave self awareness at the door and compound their frustration/stress. They forget they need ME time.

nc_mx_kid

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7/25/2017 7:04 AM

I'm going to be a father to a baby girl in sept, I'm already working on being patient because I know i'm going to need it. I look forward to going camping, bicycling, and offroad riding in her youth years. I

two wheels lifestyle
Kyle Pulley
selling powersports @TeamCharlotteMotorsports
3004 Freedom Dr. Charlotte NC 28208
Yamaha, Kawasaki, Honda, Suzuki, & Preowned Harley Davidson

Firefit_112

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7/25/2017 7:09 AM

phatfi20 wrote:

Congrats! I was in the same position 18 months ago with my first.

I actually probably rode more after I had my son but made sure everything and everyone was taken care of first.

Sounds like you have a very understanding girl and she is already into moto.

The girl and kids always come first, but everybody needs an outlet.

Make sure the wife takes her mental health time too. When they get stressed, they have a tendency to bottle it up, leave self awareness at the door and compound their frustration/stress. They forget they need ME time.

Thats exactly how I feel right now. Baby/wife/homelife are 1st. Me 2nd. The well being of those two are paramount to anything else I do. Im already seeing a change with the hormones and were doing the best to be open and communicate.

mikec265

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7/25/2017 7:12 AM

If you can realize its ok to be more of a vet rider, then you will be fine. Just don't ride as close to the edge of your ability. Have fun, get a good workout, and go home in one piece.
I have 2 kids. 3.5 and 7months.
I toned my riding down and went back to 2 strokes for more fun and cheaper rebuilds.

Panic_Rev

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7/25/2017 7:15 AM

First off congratulations! My 2nd child was born first of this year and it is a pretty amazing experience. I still ride every chance I get, but what I have found early on is that your free time is consumed with family. A trade off that I am willing to make.

I dislocated my elbow and broke my radial and ulna 5 days before my son was born this year. I am fortunate my wife stepped up with the baby because I couldn't do much. As long as you and your g/f understand the risk and consequences continue on riding. I have learned to ride in my comfort zone and not take unnecessary risk. Good luck.

Firefit_112

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Location: CAN

7/25/2017 7:16 AM
Edited Date/Time: 7/25/2017 7:18 AM

"mikec265 wrote:
If you can realize its ok to be more of a vet rider, then you will be fine. Just don't ride as close to the edge of your ability. Have fun, get a good workout, and go home in one piece.
I have 2 kids. 3.5 and 7months.
I toned my riding down and went back to 2 strokes for more fun and cheaper rebuilds."

Started that this year as I'm 33


Camp332

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7/25/2017 7:20 AM

Congratulations Bro!

When my son was born in 2012, I actually raced, and rode a lot that year. Continued in 2013 with the riding and racing until I smacked up pretty good, and broke my scapula. At that point my mindset naturally shifted into wanting to be around my family, and growing son a lot more. I didn't have that "I gotta ride mentality" any longer. Then my daughter was born in 2014, and I am just fulfilled with the dadlife/husbandlife now. We have another baby girl coming in November. With all that said, I'm currently restoring a 2004 YZ125 in my free time to play around on, because I still love moto and riding.

I mountain bike a lot now, and go to the gym everyday. Life is always changing, we are always growing as men, and our priorities shift. Be open to all the wonderful blessings you're about to receive as a father. It's the absolute best gift I've been granted.

Good luck man!

United States of America

kkawboy14

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7/25/2017 7:21 AM

We had 2 daughters in the first 4 years of our marriage, I just made the decision to ride based on the day. If everything was right that day, I went and rode or raced. If things were a train wreck then I made sure I was there to help putt it back on the tracks.

dl117

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7/25/2017 7:27 AM

I went back to racing when my daughter was 4 and continued for 10 years as my son started growing I changed my mindset a bit and got them BMX racing and I took a step back to focus on them racing for now. Just recently bought a 250f and my son bought his own 85 cause now he wants to ride with me and train me. Took the time off made me want it again, I think for awhile I was going through the motions and not wanting to get hurt and jeperdize anything at home.

kcco

huck

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7/25/2017 7:30 AM

Congrats.

I had my first son and like kkawboy said...if everything was 'good' that day, I'd go to the track. If not, I'd let my buddies know that I wouldn't make it. As time went on, I found myself riding less, but going on bigger trips. Instead of riding a couple times a week, I'd go once or twice a month to somewhere better. I'd rather spend time with the kids, than be gone all the time.

Now, my son is 18 and my daughter is almost 15. The last 3 times I've ridden, has been because she asked me to go so she could watch.

It's amazing how we get older and our priorities (and lives) change.

The message posted above is most likely my opinion and shouldn't be taken as fact....

DoctorJD

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7/25/2017 7:31 AM

Congrats on the kiddo!

My situation is different, as I'd quit riding several years before my son was born. I got back into riding when I bought his first bike when he was 6. We've been riding together since then. He's now 19 and I'm 54. As others have already stated, find some perspective on your riding. You're not an aspiring pro, so ride well within your ability level.

I have an acquaintance about my age who I used to ride with from time-to-time. He wasn't happy unless he did all the big jumps on the track. Seemed like every other ride, we were hauling his wrecked ass off of the track. A few bad concussions later, and he's out of the sport. Don't be that guy.

Leave your ego in the truck before you roll out onto the track, have fun with it. Once the little one has gotten big enough to ride, a whole new world will open up for you guys. It happens fast. Have fun with it.

snackfedbear

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7/25/2017 7:39 AM

First off, thank you for your and your wife's service to the communities, congratulations, and welcome to fatherhood!

Man you' re in for one awesome ride. Children are a gift from God, and when you always acknowledge them as such it makes everything good. (Forewarning, I'm probably going to start sounding like a bragger.) My son just turned 5 months and is now starting to do all the little exciting things that I never thought would get me jazzed. Sitting up, walking while I hold his hands, smiling back at me all the time, a few laughs when you tickle him, trying to communicate.. He just ate his first little solid (ish) food meal yesterday and it was like I got a promotion. Everything is awesome.

There is a melancholy feeling to it though, and I'm sure you have heard this before. They grow up fast. Being a firefighter I'm sure you work at least 40 hours a week as well as your wife. So here's my advice... You and your wife should take as much maternal time off that you possibly can, and when you need to go back to work, try to get onto the night shift and get your sleep in at the station. This way you can spend as much time with your kid while he's awake throughout the day, and you can let your wife get some rest. It's what I did and it's been working pretty well. If your wife can swing it, try and stay home with the baby as long as possible.. It's worth it.

Now to answer your questions... Life changed for me in the sense that we can't just go do whatever we want to whenever we want to anymore. There has to be little more planning ahead on both parts, but luckily my old lady keeps us pretty squared away. My riding life has actually gotten better and I ride more. It's something to do as a family and I decided that I wanted my son to love the sport that I love, so we started going to the track more when she was pregnant. We even took him with us at a week old. Now when he's fussy and tired/wants to be held, I'll throw on a full moto gopro video on my phone and set it next to him for the sonics. He loves it and usually it puts him to sleep. If riding is something you are both passionate about, you should make an effort to keep doing it. Just make sure not to ride like you're filming for Mad Max and do any bonehead stuff. You should be good.

mattman631

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7/25/2017 7:39 AM

I had my little girl in March, I just ride for fun and race some XC/Enduro races when I have time. The biggest change for me is not being able to go out to the garage and work on my bike. The ol lady has a full time job also so we spend as much time with her as we can after work. I now have to work on my bike early in the mornings or late at night when she is asleep. My wife is very understanding as she came from a racing background (her dad raced dirt track all her life) so going to the races doesnt bother her. Just like most mentioned above, when you have your kid everything changes (for the good) and racing just is not as high a priority as it was before. Im not sure if it is a good thing or not but my daughter, even being just under 5 months old, loves watching racing and motorcycles. Watching her smile when watching racing on TV makes me happy.




06 YZ250 - Under Construction
05 YZ125 - Project

IG - @mattman122

dsmith

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7/25/2017 7:45 AM

I have a 20 year old daughter and 3 year old daughter...(I know)....when the 3 year old was born ... I started racing off road r/c's ..and I still do .... no problems...

sc10.2 sct410 pro-line trinity tekin

motomike137

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7/25/2017 7:48 AM

Firefit_112 wrote:

So I got the news recently that Im going to be a father. The overflow of emotions is pretty crazy, but Im more excited than anything right now.

My girlfriend has ridden since shes 4 and comes to the track with me regularly. She adamant about me riding next year with a newborn seeing as Im mostly done with racing and just ride for fun at the track a few times a week. Im a little skeptical about it however as I want to be there for her, the child and not be hobbling around if I get hurt or something. We both have stable careers with a sick bank (Shes a cop. Im a Firefighter), our own homes and financial stability.

So my question is this. How did life change for those of you who are fathers with a newborn both on and off the bike? Did you pack it in for a few years or ride still? Riding is a stress relief for me which I think is important. But my only concern when the time comes is being an awesome father and spouse. Diapers > C12. Thanks in advance

I quit for financial reasons when I started my family. I may not have otherwise but I would have toned down my riding quite a bit. I became a "pro" spectator for a few years in the interim and had fun with going to as many east coast races as I could. I totally get the "stress relief" factor but you have to weigh it out in your own mind. Maybe you hang on to your bike and gear but quit for a while and focus on what will be the most amazing thing to ever happen to you for a while and re assess a little later on down the road. There is no perfect answer but I am sure you will figure it out and congratulations!

kkawboy14

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7/25/2017 8:09 AM

Firefit_112 wrote:

So I got the news recently that Im going to be a father. The overflow of emotions is pretty crazy, but Im more excited than anything right now.

My girlfriend has ridden since shes 4 and comes to the track with me regularly. She adamant about me riding next year with a newborn seeing as Im mostly done with racing and just ride for fun at the track a few times a week. Im a little skeptical about it however as I want to be there for her, the child and not be hobbling around if I get hurt or something. We both have stable careers with a sick bank (Shes a cop. Im a Firefighter), our own homes and financial stability.

So my question is this. How did life change for those of you who are fathers with a newborn both on and off the bike? Did you pack it in for a few years or ride still? Riding is a stress relief for me which I think is important. But my only concern when the time comes is being an awesome father and spouse. Diapers > C12. Thanks in advance

motomike137 wrote:

I quit for financial reasons when I started my family. I may not have otherwise but I would have toned down my riding quite a bit. I became a "pro" spectator for a few years in the interim and had fun with going to as many east coast races as I could. I totally get the "stress relief" factor but you have to weigh it out in your own mind. Maybe you hang on to your bike and gear but quit for a while and focus on what will be the most amazing thing to ever happen to you for a while and re assess a little later on down the road. There is no perfect answer but I am sure you will figure it out and congratulations!

Financial reasons are the only reason I would say I would have quit. Priorities in life have to be figured out pretty quickly for a family to work. But why stop or change for no valid reason?
If I was worried about getting hurt I would have just changed how or where I rode.

There was a new wife that told her new husband, "hey you need to quit riding, hey you need new friends, hey you need to stay home all the time, you need different clothes"......so he made the changes! 5 years later she told him she wanted a divorce. He asked "why?", she said "because your just not the same man I married!"

Yes there may be necessary changes that need to be made but figuring out the things that can stay the same are primary to everyone's happiness.

If you ever start thinking tho that your wife's needs and priorities don't come before yours just look down at the difference in the size of your wedding rings.

Crush

Vital MX member Crush
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7/25/2017 8:21 AM

Congrats man! It's the best fucking thing in the world, no doubt.

You're in for a lot of emotions each time you strap your helmet on, but don't rush anything. As long as you ride within yourself it's likely you'll be fine.

I was giving it away due to time and I couldn't get out of my own head in regards to other riders.

Having said that, I broke my ankle two weeks after number two was here on my MTB... No dramas, just pushed myself around the house on an office chair and did all my normal duties including night feeds that way!

If it's been part of your life together, it'll be hard for it not to be going forward, just take it easy!

Cheers, Crush
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dkg

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7/25/2017 8:22 AM

kkawboy14 wrote:

We had 2 daughters in the first 4 years of our marriage, I just made the decision to ride based on the day. If everything was right that day, I went and rode or raced. If things were a train wreck then I made sure I was there to help putt it back on the tracks.

^^^. Great answer. Congrats on the upcoming arrival, just don't neglect wife or baby and do what works for you. Staying emotionally happy and healthy is just as important for you since you'll need it do deal with the challenges of being a family and father. Things just change, not stop.

I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train

seth419

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7/25/2017 8:27 AM

You will be just fine especially if your girlfriend also enjoys riding/going to the track. I have two girls (3 and 1) and I try to ride once a week, and usually do. My wife is totally understanding and realizes I need to ride for my own sanity. I also give her her own time to do what she likes to do or just to get away for a bit. You will realize that both of you need your personal time to keep your sanity and you will appreciate those kiddos more when you get away for a bit.

Camp332

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7/25/2017 8:35 AM

Thread of the day!

Cool to read all the dad's perspectives.


United States of America

JBlain619

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7/25/2017 8:39 AM

Firefit_112 wrote:

So I got the news recently that Im going to be a father. The overflow of emotions is pretty crazy, but Im more excited than anything right now.

My girlfriend has ridden since shes 4 and comes to the track with me regularly. She adamant about me riding next year with a newborn seeing as Im mostly done with racing and just ride for fun at the track a few times a week. Im a little skeptical about it however as I want to be there for her, the child and not be hobbling around if I get hurt or something. We both have stable careers with a sick bank (Shes a cop. Im a Firefighter), our own homes and financial stability.

So my question is this. How did life change for those of you who are fathers with a newborn both on and off the bike? Did you pack it in for a few years or ride still? Riding is a stress relief for me which I think is important. But my only concern when the time comes is being an awesome father and spouse. Diapers > C12. Thanks in advance

Congrats brother! I'm in a similar situation. My wife is a motocrosser, raced since she was 5 and is a former pro. She had no issues with me racing. In fact, we got rid of our motorhome and got a newer toy hauler to take to the track for our daughter. Since she was born on 03/29/2016, I have ridden exactly twice and that was within the last 2 months. The toy hauler still hasn't been to the track, although we did take our daughter to her first race a month ago. I didn't race (another issue altogether).

You'll just have to figure out what works for both you and your girlfriend and take it on a case by case basis. The decision not to ride was mine and mine alone. My wife never told me I couldn't go. My case is a little different than yours as I already have children and they are older (18 & 16) so I know my youngest is my last. I made the decision that I didn't want to chance missing anything by being out riding or racing some where. I have no doubts you will make the right decision for you and your family. Good luck and welcome to the club!

kongols

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7/25/2017 9:14 AM

Many, many congrats! It's a pure joy!

JeepnMike

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Joined: 10/18/2012

Location: Enumclaw, WA USA

7/25/2017 9:34 AM

Congrats! Being a dad will test the heck out of you, but also bring the best memories you will ever have. If I can offer any advice, nothing is more important than your family - girlfriend and kids. It is easy to say at your point in life that you guys will be a family at the track every weekend loving it, but life might not allow it, your wife may be way too beat, your child might hate it, you never know. My best advice, don't ditch the girlfriend and kids every weekend to go ride or do anything else for that matter. You will end up in a crappy relationship, or single again really fast. You seem way more level headed than that, but do what you can to support your wife, share the load, let her sleep in, every single effort you make will pay off in the relationship (in lots of ways) and that is more important than anything else.

Others have mentioned more family friendly hobbies to consider, RC racing is fun and kids love it. As a moto guy, you get to tinker a lot more than you may realize there and it is still dirt, jumps, fun. I also have a 4 door Jeep I have built to the hilt and we go wheeling year round which is fun for everyone too. I try to consider what will be fun for everyone, every weekend. My kids are now 7 & 10, and I am back to the point where my kids aren't as much work, sleep is much more normal, and if I want to go ride once or twice a month, it isn't a big deal. You are going to go through a lot of transitions, the first 6 or so years you have to compromise on guy fun a lot, but it will come back around good if you are patient.

Congrats and good luck!

Falcon

Vital MX member Falcon
30901 Falcon http://p.vitalmx.com/photos/users/30901/avatar/c50_hatfall_1450633513.jpg?1450633306 http://www.vitalmx.com/community/Falcon,30901/all 11/16/11 3 http://www.vitalmx.com/community/Falcon,30901/setup 22 2463 6

Posts: 2485

Joined: 11/16/2011

Location: Menifee, CA USA

7/25/2017 9:40 AM

Congratulations, man!
My little ones have definitely changed me, but I didn't stop racing or change my riding style at all. I've always been an "in control" rider, even when racing, and I feel like I'm almost as likely to get injured in a car as I am on a bike. (Almost.) Life happens, and I don't want to be the guy who gave up what he loves only to break a hip at work.

The part that has changed for me the most is finances. Don't underestimate the budget necessary to raise a kid. It's not so hard to afford things like baby furniture, diapers and formula; especially since you and mommy seem to have good careers and doubly so if you have families who will want to spoil the little one. What is the most difficult is this: TIME. You can't just leave your kid at home while you go to work, so one of you will have to stay home or you'll need to pay for daycare. That is almost as expensive as owning a house! I know cops & firefighters make good money, but even so a big chunk of one income is now going to go away.
The good news is that babies are a great tax deduction!!!!
Plan way ahead and you'll do fine. The fact that you are thinking ahead shows that you'll be a good dad. Good luck!

mattyhamz2

Vital MX member mattyhamz2
48003 mattyhamz2 http://p.vitalmx.com/photos/users/48003/avatar/c50_IMG_0230_1482169070.jpg?1482168669 http://www.vitalmx.com/community/mattyhamz2,48003/all 07/06/15 4 58 1848 13

Posts: 1906

Joined: 7/6/2015

Location: Newhall, CA USA

7/25/2017 10:18 AM

Congrats man!!!

After my daughter was born in February 2013 I started to ride more. Rode a lot until I had a back injury at work. Then my son was born April of 2016 and riding slowed way down due to finances and making sure the family has all that they need. We bought my daughter a TTR50 for Christmas 2015 and now that she's 4 and we bought her training wheels, she bugs me a few times a week to ride in the backyard. My son is almost 1 1/2 and loves everything moto. The kid wants almost nothing to do with anything else other than our bikes and his toy "broom brooms". He brings my wife's IPad over to me and tells me "dada broom broom" so I can turn on Unchained for him.

We are finally getting back to riding a little more often now and the kids love it! Make sure you enjoy every second with your little one. They grow up so fast that it is unbelievable! Cherish every little second.

2014 YZ450F
1998 YZ250
2005 KX250F

80% of the time it works every time

Brett Smith

Vital MX member Brett Smith
45859 Brett Smith http://p.vitalmx.com/photos/users/45859/avatar/c50_1980s_Brett_Photos_0006_copy_1483580885.jpg?1483580020 http://www.vitalmx.com/community/Brett-Smith,45859/all 01/28/15 7 33 1

Posts: 40

Joined: 1/28/2015

Location: Towson, MD USA

7/25/2017 10:31 AM

Firefit_112 wrote:

So I got the news recently that Im going to be a father. The overflow of emotions is pretty crazy, but Im more excited than anything right now.

My girlfriend has ridden since shes 4 and comes to the track with me regularly. She adamant about me riding next year with a newborn seeing as Im mostly done with racing and just ride for fun at the track a few times a week. Im a little skeptical about it however as I want to be there for her, the child and not be hobbling around if I get hurt or something. We both have stable careers with a sick bank (Shes a cop. Im a Firefighter), our own homes and financial stability.

So my question is this. How did life change for those of you who are fathers with a newborn both on and off the bike? Did you pack it in for a few years or ride still? Riding is a stress relief for me which I think is important. But my only concern when the time comes is being an awesome father and spouse. Diapers > C12. Thanks in advance

Congrats:

My advice for parents to be and new parents is to ignore all advice, ha ha, especially unsolicited advice. Everyone will want to tell you what you should be doing. And I'm speaking in terms of raising the actual kid, not related to two wheels and the like.

What worked for Aunt Nancy's or your cousin's kid won't necessarily work for your kid. We have 2 and the second is 4 months old. They're completely different kids. The first didn't sleep though the night until she was 18 months. The second has been sleeping 11 hours-ish since she was 2 months old. Totally different game the second time around.

As for riding, I remember my first time back on my mountain bike after our first was born; I took greater consideration when tackling tricky features. I thought about things more, said no to obstacles more often. Hopefully you won't give up something you completely love but I'm sure you'll think about the consequences of certain obstacles more.

Best of luck to you. It will be the wildest ride you will ever take.


Flip sticK

Vital MX member Flip sticK
1776 Flip sticK http://p.vitalmx.com/photos/users/1776/avatar/c50_image_1445431990.jpg?1445431361 http://www.vitalmx.com/community/Flip-sticK,1776/all 06/15/07 13 1 10 2741 17

Posts: 2751

Joined: 6/15/2007

Location: TX, USA

7/25/2017 10:49 AM

I had a son when I was 20 and in college. As soon as he turned 3 got him a fourwheeler and at 4 a pw50. Those were some of the best years after that, him growing up and us going riding together. My favorite time in life really. He's sixteen now and we don't ride hardly at all. I am married and have a 3 year old daughter. Times have changed. Life is busy as shit. Lucky if I get out once or twice a month to ride. My son is big into football, school sports, and girls lol so he basically has no interest in it anymore. Maybe as he gets older we will get back into it. Anyway def don't quit! It's the only thing that keeps you sane when life gets crazy, and a good day out at the track with your buddy's and away from the old ball n chain is one of the best stress relievers ever