Posts
3051
Joined
8/20/2009
Location
Perth
AU
Edited Date/Time
1/19/2012 9:36am
Bench Race (event) male post ride (pref. Fireside) ceremony which affords participants chance to take mind off physical tortures received during day by drinking copious quantities of alcoholic beverages and humorously attempting to down play their displays of `less than talented` riding ability by casting even greater aspersion as to the same abilities or sexual prowess of other participants/witnesses.
Increasingly, Some Females, depending on individual persona and ability to ride as well as the guys without ever mentioning it are allowed into the inner circle. Normally for the others, their capacity is limited to being a focus for sexual innuendo and preparing and serving out snacks etc before later breaking away in small splinter groups to do or discuss……….something or other.
Body Armour (n) hard usu plastic protector that covers all parts of upper body except bits that are hit by rocks. Mainly purchased not by practicality but by capacity of design to enable wearer to fantasize he is a scary space monster equipped with indestructible exoskeleton. (Which can be handy when your missus is feeling adventurously amorous or when ur home alone in aroom with a full lenght mirror)
Porta-loo (n) prefabricated containment vessel for depositing, storing and latter removal of pre-race nerves. A unusual feature is that despite the huge size of the paddock they are usually placed in they are cunningly designed to be located easily, without the placement of signage, by any person save those suffering from severe infected sinuses.
Promoter (des) person or company who invest great amounts of time, money and effort to hold events so they can have a worse weekend and make less money than those attending said event.
Pussy 1) bloke who can`t ride good
2) thing you can`t ride good
Racism 1 ) medical condition which compulses rider to continually attempt to overtake person in front even if said person is the trail guide or even worse a motorcycle copper.
2)mental narrowness of person who Judges bike solely on colour with no regard for its capability
i.e. “You’ve been down the bloody Honda shop again. You didn’t even set foot in the other dealers did you?” screamed Mrs. Demon waving the overdrawn credit card statement. “ You know the new Kawasaki is a better bike and heaps cheaper. Id never have married you if I `d known you were such a financially irresponsible dumb racist”……………... ‘And while I’m at it, last night you were pathetic…. again”
Increasingly, Some Females, depending on individual persona and ability to ride as well as the guys without ever mentioning it are allowed into the inner circle. Normally for the others, their capacity is limited to being a focus for sexual innuendo and preparing and serving out snacks etc before later breaking away in small splinter groups to do or discuss……….something or other.
Body Armour (n) hard usu plastic protector that covers all parts of upper body except bits that are hit by rocks. Mainly purchased not by practicality but by capacity of design to enable wearer to fantasize he is a scary space monster equipped with indestructible exoskeleton. (Which can be handy when your missus is feeling adventurously amorous or when ur home alone in aroom with a full lenght mirror)
Porta-loo (n) prefabricated containment vessel for depositing, storing and latter removal of pre-race nerves. A unusual feature is that despite the huge size of the paddock they are usually placed in they are cunningly designed to be located easily, without the placement of signage, by any person save those suffering from severe infected sinuses.
Promoter (des) person or company who invest great amounts of time, money and effort to hold events so they can have a worse weekend and make less money than those attending said event.
Pussy 1) bloke who can`t ride good
2) thing you can`t ride good
Racism 1 ) medical condition which compulses rider to continually attempt to overtake person in front even if said person is the trail guide or even worse a motorcycle copper.
2)mental narrowness of person who Judges bike solely on colour with no regard for its capability
i.e. “You’ve been down the bloody Honda shop again. You didn’t even set foot in the other dealers did you?” screamed Mrs. Demon waving the overdrawn credit card statement. “ You know the new Kawasaki is a better bike and heaps cheaper. Id never have married you if I `d known you were such a financially irresponsible dumb racist”……………... ‘And while I’m at it, last night you were pathetic…. again”
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