Posts
372
Joined
10/2/2008
Location
GB
Edited Date/Time
2/14/2014 3:43pm
While idly wasting time in an airport waiting for a significantly delayed flight to leave (and browsing the latest Vital submissions on the free wi-fi), I decided to put the following checklist together for a classic MXGeoff thread.
STEP 1: If not already done, disengage brain.
STEP 2: Finish off fourteenth tin of Fosters, crush empty can against forehead. Fire-up Spotify, find some tracks by Midnight Oil and 'git in the zone'.
STEP 3: Write snarky, inflammatory, inaccurate dumbass post on Vital, either a) attacking the US nation, racing series' or competitors in some way, or b) defending an obvious and epic failure on the part of paymasters Youthstream. (eg: "Oi thort the Qatar Superfinal was bloody bonza".)
STEP 4: Be sure to inject trademark flurry of spelling and punctuation horrors.
STEP 5: Check to make sure that said post demonstrates a) complete lack of understanding of the subject, b) no knowledge of the facts, and c) a thorough lack of any forethought or consideration of the likely consequences or fallout (much like one's hero Luongo when he comes up with equally poorly thought-out rules and format changes).
STEP 6: Hit 'Submit'.
STEP 7: Wait no more than four minutes for barrage of heated responses from other forum members, rightly, and comprehensively ripping post, viewpoint and one's credibility to pieces.
STEP 8: Battling through the drunken haze of The Amber Nectar get agitated, posting further replies, every five minutes, right into the early hours, defending original flawed viewpoint whilst additionally attacking every sensible counter-argument put forward by other Vital members.
STEP 9: Deflect attacks on personal journalistic integrity (or lack thereof) by posting "Oi nevva said I wuz a jerrn-list".
STEP 10: Fend off suggestions of not knowing what the hell one is talking about by posting "Oi nevva said oi was in the know".
STEP 11: Get aggressive with people, like an angry little man wanting to fight everyone in the pub because someone bumped into him accidentally in the queue for the bar.
STEP 12: Specifically offer to fight Kongols if he just names a place and time.
STEP 13: Say to oneself "Aww bloody hill, here comes Coombs".
STEP 14: Receive eloquent dressing-down from DC.
STEP 15: Considering (implausibly) that DC just might, at some point, want some fuzzy pictures from Qatar, write grovelling reply to DC, back-peddling as fast as humanly possible, and explaining that "Aww, oi wuz only joking Davey. Oi love the US and the AMA. Oi can't believe how some of you take it all so seriously".
STEP 16: Breathe sigh of relief as dust settles with DC, and consider oneself lucky that Robgvx never got involved, which didn't end well on previous occasions.
STEP 17: Post new thread telling everyone that they're all 'Bar-studs' and that forums are for idiots and you're leaving forums "for ivva".
STEP 18: Repeat at regular intervals.
Bloody weather. But at least this passed the time.
STEP 1: If not already done, disengage brain.
STEP 2: Finish off fourteenth tin of Fosters, crush empty can against forehead. Fire-up Spotify, find some tracks by Midnight Oil and 'git in the zone'.
STEP 3: Write snarky, inflammatory, inaccurate dumbass post on Vital, either a) attacking the US nation, racing series' or competitors in some way, or b) defending an obvious and epic failure on the part of paymasters Youthstream. (eg: "Oi thort the Qatar Superfinal was bloody bonza".)
STEP 4: Be sure to inject trademark flurry of spelling and punctuation horrors.
STEP 5: Check to make sure that said post demonstrates a) complete lack of understanding of the subject, b) no knowledge of the facts, and c) a thorough lack of any forethought or consideration of the likely consequences or fallout (much like one's hero Luongo when he comes up with equally poorly thought-out rules and format changes).
STEP 6: Hit 'Submit'.
STEP 7: Wait no more than four minutes for barrage of heated responses from other forum members, rightly, and comprehensively ripping post, viewpoint and one's credibility to pieces.
STEP 8: Battling through the drunken haze of The Amber Nectar get agitated, posting further replies, every five minutes, right into the early hours, defending original flawed viewpoint whilst additionally attacking every sensible counter-argument put forward by other Vital members.
STEP 9: Deflect attacks on personal journalistic integrity (or lack thereof) by posting "Oi nevva said I wuz a jerrn-list".
STEP 10: Fend off suggestions of not knowing what the hell one is talking about by posting "Oi nevva said oi was in the know".
STEP 11: Get aggressive with people, like an angry little man wanting to fight everyone in the pub because someone bumped into him accidentally in the queue for the bar.
STEP 12: Specifically offer to fight Kongols if he just names a place and time.
STEP 13: Say to oneself "Aww bloody hill, here comes Coombs".
STEP 14: Receive eloquent dressing-down from DC.
STEP 15: Considering (implausibly) that DC just might, at some point, want some fuzzy pictures from Qatar, write grovelling reply to DC, back-peddling as fast as humanly possible, and explaining that "Aww, oi wuz only joking Davey. Oi love the US and the AMA. Oi can't believe how some of you take it all so seriously".
STEP 16: Breathe sigh of relief as dust settles with DC, and consider oneself lucky that Robgvx never got involved, which didn't end well on previous occasions.
STEP 17: Post new thread telling everyone that they're all 'Bar-studs' and that forums are for idiots and you're leaving forums "for ivva".
STEP 18: Repeat at regular intervals.
Bloody weather. But at least this passed the time.
Hey, you forgot most of my posts top the days topics for returned comments!!!! Hahahaha No mention of my good looks or amazing charm?
I love the attention!!!!!!!! Hahahaha!!!
The Shop
And no, Geoff, just because someone posts that you're a dumbass doesn't mean you're in his head. It means you're a dumbass.
For the few hundred I get from here from one of my posts I hardly see it as horing, I would hardly miss readers if I didn't put some info up.
It's guys like you that have made these boards fun for many years.
Pit Row
"You're my bitch from now on." - Do you remember when Giuseppe told you the very same thing?
But Geoff is far more tame these days.
He always stirred the pot around MXdN time,it was a lot of fun.
Some pretty funny threads and some epic digital MX battles.
The GP guys would come out of the woodwork,it was like shaking a hornets nest.
I hear PED use in the GP's is rampant... you're a (ahem) journalist, tell us more.
Post a reply to: Checklist for an MXGeoff thread